Realizations
by kira-nerys
Summary: [slash] A debate over lunch where Garak and Bashir finally realize what's going on.


Realizations

name="A heated encounter">Realizations

**Author**: kira-nerys  


**Series**: DS9  


**Codes:** G/B - PG-13 (for m/m romance, some sexual implications)  


**Summary:** Just a small dialogue about G/B finding out what's really going 

on.  


**Disclaimer:** Garak/Bashir and Dax blah blah belongs to Paramount/Viacom 

blah blah… No infringement intended blah blah… you get the idea…  


**Set When? **Before Sacrifice of Angels.   


**Archiving and Downloading: **Oh sure. Download, print, read - whatever. 

Just don't archive anywhere without my permission (ASC is okay) Keep all headers.  


**Thanks to**: Olivia, you are invaluable!   


**Feedback**: I'd love some! [kira-nerys@geocities.com][1]

* * *

"So what you are really trying to tell me doctor, is that you believe it is 

impossible to live without love?" Garak leaned forward over the table and the look in 

his eyes was positively shocked. 

"Yes, of course it is! No one can live their life 

without love!" Bashir was waving his hands in his air in the most adorably upset way. 

Garak couldn't help but smile at his friend's passionate defense of love. 

"What in the world makes you believe that? There is so much more to life than 

mushy romance!" Garak chided. He was wondering how far he could push this before the 

doctor realized he was really teasing him. 

Bashir silenced as if he seriously contemplated his friend's statement. 

"I should be the perfect example that it is indeed possible to live without love. 

My being here today is probably more because of it than in spite of it." Garak 

continued flatly as if the subject made him ill. His boyish friend was so naive sometimes. 

* * *

Bashir stared at Garak for a moment. Did the tailor really believe that or was he just 

trying to annoy him? What was Garak saying really? Did he hold romance and love in 

contempt? Did he view this as a weakness? It sounded as if he did at first, but now, 

hearing the slightly longing tone in his friend's voice he believed that Garak was, as 

usual, just putting up a front.

"That's not true!" Bashir said and leaned forward. His head stopped merely an 

inch or two from Garak's blue gaze. "You have love in your life! Ziyal adores the 

ground you walk on!"   


[Not to mention that I do as well…] 

"I thought you were referring to reciprocated love," Garak stated calmly. 

"However, if that is not the case, then I suppose you are right doctor. I do have 

love in my life. But not the kind where my feelings are returned." Garak's voice 

sounded wistful. 

"Are you telling me that you haven't brought a lady-friend home ever since you 

came to this station?" Bashir felt a flutter in his stomach. Perhaps he wasn't so far 

off course after all? Perhaps his suspicions were right - which was the reason he brought 

up the conversation in the first place. He wondered why Garak hadn't seen right through 

him already. 

The tailor looked at Bashir with mock surprise in his blue eyes. 

"Why Doctor, aren't we getting a tad too personal now?" 

"Come on, Garak. You know all there is to know about me and my love life. We've 

known each other long enough!" 

"There really isn't any relevance to your question, my friend. Because whether I 

brought a *lady-friend* as you so eloquently put it, home or not, it wouldn't matter. You 

know as well as I do that bringing someone home for the night isn't love" the tailor 

responded calmly. "That's just sex!" His voice turned full of disgust as if 

bringing someone home for the night was showing a weakness of some sort. 

* * *

Garak looked intently at his young friend and suddenly realized there was more to this 

conversation than he was aware of. He was surprised that he hadn't seen it before. But he 

had given up on the hope that Julian would ever be more than a friend, so long ago, that 

he had put the whole thing out of his mind entirely. Perhaps that had been a mistake?

"I do hope you are aware that sex and love isn't exactly the same 

thing…" he said with a slight edge in his voice. 

"You're right. But it doesn't seem like you've gotten much of that either. I can't 

remember ever seeing you bring a woman - or a man for that matter - home!" Bashir 

blurted out. 

"Why doctor - now you *are* getting personal. I didn't realize you kept such close 

tabs on my sex-life or lack thereof… " Garak leaned forward over the table and 

seemed positively intrigued. 

"But there's got to be someone around here that you feel deeply for!" Bashir 

persisted and he looked deeper into Garak's eyes. His hazel eyes were probing, curious and 

very eager. 

Garak flinched. 

"What about Ziyal?" Bashir continued and leaned back in his chair, noticing 

his friend's discomfort. 

Garak closed his eyes as if the whole conversation was beginning to bore him. That 

however, was as far from the truth as it could possibly be. His heart was beating faster 

and he felt the slight tension in his neck, which were the first signs of arousal. 

"Doctor, Ziyal is a very young girl, and she is the daughter of Gul Dukat."

[Ziyal! Oh, my dear Julian, if you only knew…]

"So? That doesn't mean you can't have feelings for her." Bashir insisted, but 

felt joy at the fact that Garak's face showed open disgust at the mere mention of him 

having a sexual relationship with the young half-Bajoran female. 

"I do have feelings for her. But not the kind you are referring to," Garak 

finally responded. 

"Why not?" 

Garak leaned back in his chair, a bit more relaxed now that they were talking about 

Ziyal, and no longer focusing so blatantly on him. He willed the excitement away and 

wondered how much he would reveal to the young man. There was obviously more to his 

incessant questions than a mere topic over lunch. 

"As I said, she is a very young girl," he said simply. 

* * *

Bashir stared at his friend and raised his eyebrows. Garak had seemed so tense just a 

few seconds ago, now he was sitting back in his chair, as relaxed and congenial as always. 

Bashir felt the irritation grow. Why couldn't Garak open up just a little bit more? He 

didn't want to go all the way by himself. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bashir persisted, hoping that Garak would 

admit to - something!

"It simply means she is too young and she's… never mind! Why this sudden 

interest in my love-life?" Garak said and leaned forward again his nose stopping only 

inches away from Julian's face. 

"Well, I think we lost track of the subject at hand" Julian admitted and 

lowered his gaze, afraid that maybe he had revealed too much or prodded too much. He was 

so scared of letting his friend know how he felt before at least getting some indication 

from Garak that his revelation might be welcome. "I didn't mean to pry into your 

personal love-life, Garak. But now that I think about it, you must be rather lonely." 

"What about you doctor? I don't see you having anyone special in your life. Or do 

you have a lady-friend I am not aware of?" Garak teased. 

Bashir looked into Garak's blue eyes. He searched for something more there than just a 

simple question. And he found it. There was a genuine interest there. As if suddenly Garak 

had realized where this specific conversation had sprung from. 

"No, no I don't have a *woman* in my life right now…" Julian admitted 

and held Garak's gaze steadily. He was silently hoping that Garak might get the subtle 

hint. If he didn't he had at least not revealed too much, and it would be easily shrugged 

off if Garak decided to ask what he meant. 

But Garak kept holding his gaze, and a slow burning inside the sky-blue eyes made 

itself evident. 

"So, is there anyone you would like to bring to your bed?" Garak questioned 

him softly. 

Julian started, and dropped his gaze at the sudden excitement Garak's question provoked 

in his body. Thoughts and images of them in bed together - kissing in the moonlight - made 

him flush. 

"Would you stop doing that?" he blurted out defensively, not willing to show 

how deeply affected he was by the tailor's perhaps innocent question. 

"Doing what?" Garak said mildly. 

"Turning the conversation away from yourself!" 

"I didn't realize I was doing that," Garak lied, positively beaming. 

"Oh yes you did!" Bashir responded, feeling a bit less exposed now that Garak 

wasn't scrutinizing him so blatantly. "So tell me, isn't there anyone on this station 

you feel more about than the others" he dared to add. 

"Of course there is - I care about Ziyal - and I care very much for you, 

doctor."

"I wasn't talking about friendship." Julian said with a slight catch in his 

voice. A flutter in his stomach made him persist to make sure Garak meant what he thought 

he meant. 

"Neither am I, Doctor" Garak said with a slight smile, then he got up and 

left. 

It took a couple of minutes for Garak's words to finally sink in. What had Garak 

implied? Had he seen through his questions and obvious probing? Had Garak realized what 

Julian really wanted to know? How had this made the tailor feel, Julian wondered. Garak 

had made no revelations of his own, he had just smiled at him and left. But he had most 

certainly said he wasn't talking about friendship, and he wasn't referring to Ziyal. He 

had made that perfectly clear. Garak had no such feelings for the young girl. But what 

about him? What did Garak truly feel about him?

Julian knew he couldn't just let go now. Not now. He got up from the chair and 

hurriedly made his way out of the Replimat towards the Cardassian's shop. 

"Garak?" 

"Hmmm?" the tailor responded, with his back to the young man. He was 

fidgeting with his fabric-samples and he didn't turn around. 

"What did you mean back there, Garak?" Julian asked softly as he could feel 

the heart beating in his chest. His palms were sweaty and he could feel a slight tremble 

traveling through him. On top of that he felt the slight stirrings in his groin at the 

exciting thought of Garak having the same feelings for him. 

Finally the tailor turned around and stared intently at him. His eyes bore deep into 

his soul. 

"I think you know what I meant, doctor. Wasn't that why you were asking all those 

questions? So that I would finally reveal one of my hidden secrets?" 

"Is that what you think, Garak?" Julian asked breathlessly. "You think I 

asked only to get you to let slip one of the mysteries you surround yourself with?" 

Garak let go of the fabric he was holding and then he stepped closer to Julian, and put 

his finger under the young man's chin so that he would be able to look him straight in the 

eye. 

"If that wasn't it, then why, Julian? Why?"

"I… I hope I haven't misunderstood you now, Garak… " Julian said 

breathlessly. 

"That depends on what you are thinking, my dear Doctor," Garak said tiredly. 

"Do you want to be more than my friend? I think you do… "

Strangely enough, Garak didn't deny it. He simply nodded and Julian felt his heart beat 

faster. The realization that the Cardassian felt more for him made his palms sweaty, his 

mouth dry and his body tense. 

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Julian asked softly. 

"What would I say?" Garak wondered. "It's not like you've shown any 

interest in men before." 

"I know that, but that's because… "

"What?" Garak wondered and put his hands on the young doctor's shoulders. 

Hazel brown eyes met royal blue ones. Julian gasped at the hope he saw in those 

incredibly blue depths, and he felt the tremendous satisfaction of not having to kill that 

hope. 

"…you're the only man I ever wanted." he finished. 

Garak's eyes darkened and Julian reached out to pull the Cardassian closer. Their 

bodies pressed together for the first time and he sighed as he felt the tailor's strong 

arms around his waist. Julian leaned forward to meet Garak half-way when he realized he 

was going to kiss him. Their lips met and Julian sighed. His body responded immediately. 

Ever since he and Garak started this conversation he had felt the first signs of arousal. 

Now they hit him full force. 

"I don't this is the best place for us to be doing this, Julian…" Garak 

said. His voice was husky and low. "Let's go to my quarters… "

~ End ~

_**- the end -**_

* * *

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**

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* * *

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